Showers of Blessing, showers of blessing we need...
Here we are at the end of June and it is hot and dry outside. Sure is a contrast to the soupy summer we had last year. The one that made me a magnet for turtles. No turtles this year, just bunnies and birds. I'll take bunnies and birds :)
The Rices have been showered with blessings the last few months. At this moment I feel happy, at peace and filled with the joy and love of our Heavenly Father. I give all glory and praise to YHWH and His direction for my current state of mind. Certain "crisis" in our lives have gone away. So, instead of pleading and questioning Him, my prayers are filled with thanksgiving and different kinds of requests. Requests to help me feel closer to him.
The Sabbath Fellowship I attend will soon be 2 years old. The last two years have certainly had their ups and downs. While the ups are great, the downs really suck and I have longed for stability within our group. Right now, we have that stability. Again, I give all of the glory to Him!
Our group isn't big. It is a small group of hungry believers that want to be together and discuss scripture. I love listening to the discussion and always feel blessed after fellowship but... there is something missing. Several people in our group, including me, have mention how nice it would be to have music. We tried music in the past but it seems forced and unnatural. For this reason, we put music on the back burner until someone able would step up and bless us with music.
So, for the last 2 years, I have been starving for song. I love singing, it fills my heart with so much joy! I can listen to the same song over and over and still feel blessed.
Sooo, with all of this said, I prayed to sing a couple weeks ago. I prayed that The Father would give me an opportunity to praise him in song. I don't ask this because I need accolades. I ask him because I want to feel his spirit, and the easiest way for me, is to sing in front of people. I'm not an exceptional singer. I can carry a tune and sound decent within a certain range. When I practice singing songs that I will share with others, I always sound bad. My voice cracks, there is no power behind my breath. But when the time comes, when all eyes are on me and I am scared to death, the Spirit fills me and His breath stirs deep in my belly and shoots out of my mouth with sound, a pretty sound. In that moment I shock myself, and often the person that has helped me practice. The once crackly, breathy voice turns into a lovely sound. That is when I feel closest to Him. I know it isn't me. I don't have the ability or strength. But, I know who can give me the strength. I rely on Him to use this instrument He created as a vessel for His glory.
So back to my drawn out story...
A couple weeks ago I prayed to sing. Guess what happened yesterday? A musician friend sent me a text that said, "Are you ready to sing Gratitude?' What! I had forgotten about that song. I sent it to her last year around Thanksgiving, thinking it would be appropriate for that time of year. She is coming to our Sabbath Fellowship this weekend and has been practicing the piano part to the song.
I feel so blessed!! I love that song!!
Let me share it with you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PEzM-4VXdg
I want you to know that Indiana is in a drought. We have been for weeks. How much more appropriate is this song now then when I sent it to my friend at Thanksgiving? Thank you Father, you know best! I love you!
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
One of those nights.
Ugh, it is one of those nights. Everyone is sleeping and I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. Well, I suppose that is an exaggeration, but man I'm upset. Or maybe more accurately, confused. I really struggle with my worth as a human being. I have unmerited pride. I think I can offer so much....but the father hasn't given me the opportunity.
To many, I have very little value. To most, I don't even exist. But to four beautiful, smart, loving, sharing, kind thoughtful, children ...... I am their world. I am the best. I couldn't be more lovely to them. I couldn't be smarter or more accomplished. They don't care that I have no degree. They aren't embarrassed that I talk to myself. At this moment, they sleep in peace knowing they are loved.
I'll admit that I have gone to bed many nights, not knowing love. Not being able to trust. Not knowing what tomorrow will bring or who it will bring.
My sincere prayer is that The Father will help me get past all of the hurt and broken promises by friends, church members and family. That he will lift this burden of betrayal that paralyzes me. And that I might be able to, with vigor and stamina, spend the rest of my days showing my amazing children that they are loved.
I want to be the mother that encourages and doesn't tear down. I want to be the one that supports their grown up choices. I want to encourage them to love their spouses. And when they have days when they doubt their worth, when a loved one has hurt them, I want them to know that they can talk to me.
YHWH, help me to see their worth.
To many, I have very little value. To most, I don't even exist. But to four beautiful, smart, loving, sharing, kind thoughtful, children ...... I am their world. I am the best. I couldn't be more lovely to them. I couldn't be smarter or more accomplished. They don't care that I have no degree. They aren't embarrassed that I talk to myself. At this moment, they sleep in peace knowing they are loved.
I'll admit that I have gone to bed many nights, not knowing love. Not being able to trust. Not knowing what tomorrow will bring or who it will bring.
My sincere prayer is that The Father will help me get past all of the hurt and broken promises by friends, church members and family. That he will lift this burden of betrayal that paralyzes me. And that I might be able to, with vigor and stamina, spend the rest of my days showing my amazing children that they are loved.
I want to be the mother that encourages and doesn't tear down. I want to be the one that supports their grown up choices. I want to encourage them to love their spouses. And when they have days when they doubt their worth, when a loved one has hurt them, I want them to know that they can talk to me.
YHWH, help me to see their worth.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
A Tulip of Tears
Hello stranger! I've missed you. I didn't think I wanted to continue with this blog. Well, I've had so many thoughts recently and it seems like a waste to not write them out. Here is a story I want to remember forever:
It sure has been beautiful these last couple of weeks. The temperature has been at least 60 degrees. Today is a toasty 80 degrees. I even hung some clothes on the line to dry! I haven't talked to Larry yet but I know he will be grouchy. He hates the heat. On top of that, I have all kinds of "good" news to share with him...he will be thrilled.
Anyway, about two weeks ago my children spent the entire day outside in this lovely weather. I know they should have been doing schoolwork, but how could I make them? I watched them swing a little on the playset, dribble the basketball for a few minutes. After sampling the toys and activities neglected during the winter, they ended up spending the remainder of their time under the tree in our front yard "making food." Mud pies and weed salad were on the menu. It was a good day, everyone seemed happy and at ease.
Eventually the children came in, we had dinner, watched some TV and cleaned up for bedtime. Larry brought his work home with him, as he does many nights. Usually, he gets his documenting for done before the children's bedtime, but this was one of his catch up nights. It was 9pm and he was sitting in bed with his work computer; He asked me to "tuck" the kids into bed and pray with them. Larry has been the one to put them to bed since birth. It is a very important time for him and, I'm sure, for them too.
So I did the rounds, Lily and Eli upstairs, Mati on the living room couch, then I peek my head into Wynnie's room. She was crying. This really took me by surprise, we had such a lovely, easy going day. Wynnie is always my smiley, positive child. "Wynnie, what's wrong," I asked. "Mommy, I'm sorry. I hid it." "What are you talking about Wynnie?" "You know, those round things on the stairs outside. I thought you were going to throw them away so I peeled them for my salad. Eli told me that you wanted it, I got scared that you would be mad at me, so I hid it. I buried in the back yard by the fence." She cried and whimpered as she explained the situation to me. I just looked at her confused. "Wynnie, do you mean the tulip bulbs that Robin got me? I was just going to plant them anyway. The only thing you need to feel bad about is trying to hide something from me. Now, ask Yeshua to forgive you. Thank you for telling me." "Ok, mommy," she said in her , ready to please, manner.
I guess you never know what kinds of things people are struggling with on the inside, even your own children. I suppose we need to remember all of our brothers and sisters in prayer, even if they act like everything is ok. Maybe our prayers will soften their hearts enough that they can confess their sin and find peace.
I still haven't got around to planting the other tulip bulbs. But I know one was planted and I will remember Wynnies repentant spirit every time it blooms. I pray she remembers too.
The sacrifices of YHWH are a broken spirit and contrite heart.
It sure has been beautiful these last couple of weeks. The temperature has been at least 60 degrees. Today is a toasty 80 degrees. I even hung some clothes on the line to dry! I haven't talked to Larry yet but I know he will be grouchy. He hates the heat. On top of that, I have all kinds of "good" news to share with him...he will be thrilled.
Anyway, about two weeks ago my children spent the entire day outside in this lovely weather. I know they should have been doing schoolwork, but how could I make them? I watched them swing a little on the playset, dribble the basketball for a few minutes. After sampling the toys and activities neglected during the winter, they ended up spending the remainder of their time under the tree in our front yard "making food." Mud pies and weed salad were on the menu. It was a good day, everyone seemed happy and at ease.
Eventually the children came in, we had dinner, watched some TV and cleaned up for bedtime. Larry brought his work home with him, as he does many nights. Usually, he gets his documenting for done before the children's bedtime, but this was one of his catch up nights. It was 9pm and he was sitting in bed with his work computer; He asked me to "tuck" the kids into bed and pray with them. Larry has been the one to put them to bed since birth. It is a very important time for him and, I'm sure, for them too.
So I did the rounds, Lily and Eli upstairs, Mati on the living room couch, then I peek my head into Wynnie's room. She was crying. This really took me by surprise, we had such a lovely, easy going day. Wynnie is always my smiley, positive child. "Wynnie, what's wrong," I asked. "Mommy, I'm sorry. I hid it." "What are you talking about Wynnie?" "You know, those round things on the stairs outside. I thought you were going to throw them away so I peeled them for my salad. Eli told me that you wanted it, I got scared that you would be mad at me, so I hid it. I buried in the back yard by the fence." She cried and whimpered as she explained the situation to me. I just looked at her confused. "Wynnie, do you mean the tulip bulbs that Robin got me? I was just going to plant them anyway. The only thing you need to feel bad about is trying to hide something from me. Now, ask Yeshua to forgive you. Thank you for telling me." "Ok, mommy," she said in her , ready to please, manner.
I guess you never know what kinds of things people are struggling with on the inside, even your own children. I suppose we need to remember all of our brothers and sisters in prayer, even if they act like everything is ok. Maybe our prayers will soften their hearts enough that they can confess their sin and find peace.
I still haven't got around to planting the other tulip bulbs. But I know one was planted and I will remember Wynnies repentant spirit every time it blooms. I pray she remembers too.
The sacrifices of YHWH are a broken spirit and contrite heart.
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