I know this may not last long because the adversary has a way of getting me down; but for this evening, I am singing praises to YHWH for his faithfulness. We had a great turnout for Sabbath fellowship and that is always encouraging. All of my children looked so nice in their new clothes, I felt so happy. We came home, had nachos and watched a movie. Wynnie snuggled in my arms and Lily lay at the foot of the bed. Man all I could think of was how pretty my girls are. They are both beautiful. Lily is growing into a gorgeous young lady and Wynnie couldn't be prettier.
Right now, I don't care that I am dirt poor. I have the most amazing family. I have a hardworking, loving, handsome, devoted, strong, smart husband. His only "flaw" is that he can be too nice. I have smart, funny, healthy, obedient, beautiful children. I get to stay home and watch them grow.
We have been given the opportunity to help start a new faith congregation in Syracuse. We are in a great location, neat building. We have made friends with the baker and she gives us her leftovers. Our landlord is great and our rent is cheap. Wow! What a blessing.
Like I said I am filled with joy. A week ago I was in despair. I sobbed as Everdry of Fort Wayne used a back hoe on my front yard; Digging up all of my hopes and dreams for a pretty yard this summer. 2 years of patch jobs and a 4 month delay to "get it right" caused us to have to take our house off the market. But God connected us with a lender and now we are going to buy the home we newly renovated.
It is funny how things turn out. Last summer was to be the year of parties. There was to be a house warming, a graduation party, and an ordination service. None of that came to be; until this year. Last weekend Larry was honored for his ordination in Michigan at a service he had no idea about. This year we could have a housewarming but it would seem silly because we have lived in the house for a year, and Larry's graduation party? Well, he wants to go back to school so maybe we will do it then.
What God constantly reminds me of is that I am not in control. I can plan all the parties I want but if what I am celebrating is not in Gods will, I am celebrating in vain. I can plan how I will sell my house but if a contractor comes and digs up my yard, my plans are toast.
I guess all that matters is that we keep going even through what seems like hardship. You know, not many people feel sorry for me, and why should they? I have a loving family, nice home, Larry is educated with a good job, and everyone is healthy and perfect. There is nothing to feel sorry for here. We are blessed....
There is this silly country hymn that I like. The verse says I am drinking from my saucer because my cup has over flowed.
That is me....drinking from the saucer of abundant life in Yeshua. I cannot thank or praise Him enough!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
nothing ='s everything
Why does it have to be so hard to be a believer? Why do I have to have these convictions? I feel like there are so few of us. Life would be so much easier if I were like the majority of Christianity. Should I be selfish, looking to my own needs and wants before the needs and wants of my "savior?" Sometimes I wish I was like one of them again. I could work whenever I wanted and wear whatever I wanted. I would still be considered a good believer. If I left my kids with a sitter, went back to making 50,000 a year, worked nights and weekends, people would think we had everything all together.
Do you know that 3 years ago someone who was living with a man that was not the father of her child, someone who drinks too much and acts like she is in high school told me she could help me get my life back together!? Now at that time, I had 4 lovely children; I had been living in a purchased home for 6 years; My husband had one masters and was in school for his next. I'm thinking to myself...What? Why do I look so pathetic to you? My husband had lost a job, that was very hurtful time, but he found an equal job pretty much right away. What would have made me more acceptable? Should I throw off the scarf I always wear on my head and pick up a cocktail? Would that be a step in the "right" direction? Should I send my children to school and focus again on my career, would that do? Why isn't it ok just to be faithful? Why does someone that doesn't look worldly come across as mislead and confused. Why isn't it ok to choose poverty (I use that very loosely, I know I am nowhere near impoverished.) over indulgence?
I had a non-religious Jew in my home the other day. We had some really interesting conversation. This woman had attended a Christian church and liked it very much. Later in life when she asked her Rabbi why Jesus couldn't be the Messiah his response was this. "The Messiah would never come as a carpenter." Well why not? What is so terrible about a servant king? Could you imagine if Zacheaus said to Jesus, while he was eating with him, "Jesus... we need to get your life in order. I'll teach you how to lie and steal so that you don't have to have so many troubles." How bazaar would that be? How absolutely obscured?
Jesus intentionally came down from all of his glory and made himself of no reputation, just for us. He made himself someone that, shallow and selfish, people would think needed worldly help. There may have been times, when he was fighting with those arrogant Pharisees it may have occurred to him to get the upper hand in the argument by doing great wonders. I don't think he resorted to fireworks because it would impress the wrong people. Jesus didn't want people to follow him because they loved his abilities or his house or clothes or his famous friends. He wanted people to follow him because they fell in love with his message, his witness, and his purpose. If he did that with fancy things and spectacles they wouldn't love him for who he was.
When Jesus came over 2000 years ago, he came as a lover, a peacemaker, a humble and lowly servant. He set that example for us so that we would know where true happiness comes from. Not in the pomp and circumstance of the proud, but in the foot washing humility of the servant.
So I’m back to me and why things are so hard. Well, things are so hard because as long as I’m living in this sinful world, I will not be able to live up to the world’s sinful standard. And I guess until I get my glorified body I will struggle with feeling lowly. I don’t mean to compare myself to Jesus. He is my example and I am a sorry copy. With that said, I have made myself nothing by the world’s standard to follow him. Many days it feels really crappy. That is why it is so important to fellowship on Sabbath with other believers.
Make yourself nothing now so that you can have everything later.
Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5
Synonyms for meek: humble, timid, submissive, gentle, docile, modest, compliant, mild, quiet, lowly, weak, fearful, tame.........Jesus.......Barbra?
Do you know that 3 years ago someone who was living with a man that was not the father of her child, someone who drinks too much and acts like she is in high school told me she could help me get my life back together!? Now at that time, I had 4 lovely children; I had been living in a purchased home for 6 years; My husband had one masters and was in school for his next. I'm thinking to myself...What? Why do I look so pathetic to you? My husband had lost a job, that was very hurtful time, but he found an equal job pretty much right away. What would have made me more acceptable? Should I throw off the scarf I always wear on my head and pick up a cocktail? Would that be a step in the "right" direction? Should I send my children to school and focus again on my career, would that do? Why isn't it ok just to be faithful? Why does someone that doesn't look worldly come across as mislead and confused. Why isn't it ok to choose poverty (I use that very loosely, I know I am nowhere near impoverished.) over indulgence?
I had a non-religious Jew in my home the other day. We had some really interesting conversation. This woman had attended a Christian church and liked it very much. Later in life when she asked her Rabbi why Jesus couldn't be the Messiah his response was this. "The Messiah would never come as a carpenter." Well why not? What is so terrible about a servant king? Could you imagine if Zacheaus said to Jesus, while he was eating with him, "Jesus... we need to get your life in order. I'll teach you how to lie and steal so that you don't have to have so many troubles." How bazaar would that be? How absolutely obscured?
Jesus intentionally came down from all of his glory and made himself of no reputation, just for us. He made himself someone that, shallow and selfish, people would think needed worldly help. There may have been times, when he was fighting with those arrogant Pharisees it may have occurred to him to get the upper hand in the argument by doing great wonders. I don't think he resorted to fireworks because it would impress the wrong people. Jesus didn't want people to follow him because they loved his abilities or his house or clothes or his famous friends. He wanted people to follow him because they fell in love with his message, his witness, and his purpose. If he did that with fancy things and spectacles they wouldn't love him for who he was.
When Jesus came over 2000 years ago, he came as a lover, a peacemaker, a humble and lowly servant. He set that example for us so that we would know where true happiness comes from. Not in the pomp and circumstance of the proud, but in the foot washing humility of the servant.
So I’m back to me and why things are so hard. Well, things are so hard because as long as I’m living in this sinful world, I will not be able to live up to the world’s sinful standard. And I guess until I get my glorified body I will struggle with feeling lowly. I don’t mean to compare myself to Jesus. He is my example and I am a sorry copy. With that said, I have made myself nothing by the world’s standard to follow him. Many days it feels really crappy. That is why it is so important to fellowship on Sabbath with other believers.
Make yourself nothing now so that you can have everything later.
Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5
Synonyms for meek: humble, timid, submissive, gentle, docile, modest, compliant, mild, quiet, lowly, weak, fearful, tame.........Jesus.......Barbra?
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