The last thing I should be doing right now is typing on my blog. I have 20 mins. until I have to leave to pick my daughter up from school. My baby is still sleeping, my other kids are still working on schoolwork and I have made a huge mess of this house. I feel like I am always reorganizing something. I am terrible at organization so reorganizing is a constant process in my home.
My house was in decent shape so I felt I could go downstairs and get the crawl space cleaned out. Now here I am with tons of empty boxes and storage containers, wet baby memorabilia and misc furniture stacked in my living room. I always hope to have the house in perfect shape when Larry gets home from work but it rarely happens. I know this is something that won't get finished tonight so I have a decision to make. Do I live with the mess for a couple days, maybe a week, until I get the crawl space cleaned or do I decide it is too much, throw everything back down into the crawl space and pretend the mess isn't there?
No one see the mess down there, so it doesn't make me look bad, but I know it is there. And I know that when we get ready to sell this home and people start looking in nooks and crannies they will not be impressed with the junk thrown in the crawl space.
The mess in my house is a good model for the mess in my life. I have a lot of junk built up in the secret innermost places of my heart. I would really like to get it cleaned up but every time I try to dig down and deal with the mess below, I can't handle all the junk that surfaces. I don't know where to put it in my life. It can be embarrassing for others to see, and make them a little uncomfortable. So I shove all of that life junk into the crawl space of my soul and pretend it isn't there. But you know I can't hide the mess from those people I've let in, the ones that know my nooks and crannies. The people that know on the outside things look clean enough, but there is still a lot of work to be done underneath.
As I prepare for this Passover season, I will literally get into all of the neglected places of my house where leaven could be hiding. I pray that with every crumb I discard, I also discard a little of the spiritual leaven that grows in my life. The leaven of regret, anger, laziness, impatience, doubt and so on.
For now, I have decided to live with this mess tonight, so that I can get this house into shape and get it sold!
