Who am I? Who am I? I'm...I'm....I'm nearly 35 years into this journey and every time I think I know who I am, It is time to reevaluate. Hmm, let's see: I'm a wife, a mother, a friend, an enemy. I'm a servant, a ruler, a creator, a destroyer. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker. Ok, enough of that. I'm not really a smoker and I don't know what midnight toking is, unless that is what you might call my late night ramblings on blogger. One thing I know is that I am a lover of music.
Music has been a huge part of my life since I could remember. I can take about any conversation and put it to an oldie, show tune and even a gospel hymn. I grew up with so much music in my life. The good stuff came from a record or cassette tape. I heard very little live music as a child, except for hymns at church or concerts in the park.
The one event that will stay with me forever is my 8th grade trip to Chicago to see Les Miserable. Our choir teacher introduced us to the music. Looking back, and recognizing that I have an almost 8th grader, I can't believe they let us go. The language and subject matter was nowhere near appropriate for the 8th grade. I still cringe at some of the subject matter that I would have heard. But the music was beautiful and I guess that as long as the vulgarity is put to an amazing score than it isn't offensive anymore, right?
I have been a singer since I was a little girl and, that year, I was recognized for a Jr Achievement honor. I prepared, I Dreamed a Dream, to sing at the banquet but I was unable to go; issues with my parents’ divorce. At the time I learned that song, I felt Fantine was living my life. My middle school years we terrible and I would sing about dreaming that my life "was different from the hell that I was living." It seems dramatic, but that life was hell.
In contrast, I look at the life I have now and it is heaven. All of the love I longed for as a preteen was filled, with a choice to be a disciple of Yeshua, when I was 15. My high school and early twenties still had me stumbling through hell a little. But now, the love I have is unreal. I know I am loved by my Heavenly Father. He lavishes me with love constantly. The blessing he has poured out, on this once very lost little girl, is unimaginable. Sometimes I wonder if life could really be this good. Did the Almighty love me so much to give me a handsome, hardworking, smart, loving husband? And on top of that, he loves me so much he gave me 4 beautiful, perfect, obedient, loving, caring thoughtful, smart, funny children!
My soul belongs to God I know, I made that bargain long ago...
My soul belongs to God I know, I made that bargain long ago...
Who am I? I am Barbra, wife, mother, friend, enemy.....child of Yeshua.
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