I'm a Hanukkah baby

It is 5:30am on December 25th.  My children are nestled all snug in their beds.  We had a nice evening last night as a family.  We wrestled and laughed and snuggled.  My Wynnie and Mati are easy enough to snuggle.  When Mati gets tired and we are watching TV, he will come to me when he is ready to go to sleep.  I don't rock him or anything, just hold him and soon enough he is sleeping.  My Wynnie is a tiny peanut that is starting to become a big girl.  She can tell when I am happy or sad and she will come to me for extra loving.  She has always been really easy going and eager to make me happy.  I can't get over how big my Lily is.  I want to snuggle with her but sometimes I feel strange because she looks and feels like a grown woman.  She often gets the brunt of my "wrath" and when I'm done with my fits she will come up and give me a hug from behind or a pat on the back.  The hugs I get from Lily are few but they sure are nice.  It has been nice to have her home from school this week.  I didn't realize how much I miss her when she is at school.  Eli doesn't initiate lots of hugs but he always accepts the ones I give.  He isn't bigger than me yet and he still has a smooth face so I need to get all the hugs and kisses in before the stubble appears. 

So, last night as we celebrated the end of a joyful Sabbath, it occurred to me.   When I was born, I was brought home in a little red sleeper dress that had a Christmas tree in the corner.  I've been told my whole life "you are a Christmas baby."  There really was no benefit to growing up a Christmas baby.  My birthday was often forgotten and my presents were often leftovers.  For a few years,  my family accually stopped celebrating my birthday on the real date and would pick some random date, usually in the summer, to celebrate my "unbirthday."  Sounds fun but it was a reminder to me that things were just to busy around my real birthday to do anything.  Things haven't changed much as an adult.  Most everyone has spent their money by the time it is my birthday so I can't expect much.  Larry always has been generous and I have a couple friends that always get me nice gifts.  Larry's stepmom has always been good about giving me thoughtful gifts too.   I guess this last year when we decided that we should not make birthdays such a big deal, it wasn't too hard because they have always been disappointing for me.  

Anyway, I thought it was interesting when I remembered last night that I was brought home in a dress with a Christmas tree on it.  I guess I didn't live up to my parents expectations, as far as, being naturally festive because I was born this time of year.  I think it is interesting that I have spent the last few years trying to avoid all of the Christmas trees I can.  They actually disgust me now. 

Thinking about it, that dress was one of the first labels I received growing up, "Christmas baby."  Some other labels I've had...hmmm...can I remember them all?  Let's give it a try.  Sick child, different, stubborn, mouthy, disobedient, bad student, difficult, codependent, bulimic, demon possessed and mentally ill.   I think back on those labels and I am disgusted.   I'm so thankful, that as an adult, I have broke free from the labels and tried to be the opposite of them. Although if you ask some, I haven't broke free from them all.  I'm thankful that I have had a humble enough heart to have sought YHWH and His Ways.  While I still resemble the child I was  in the past, I have new clothes now!  I've been washed clean from the labels and expectations of the past. 

As an infant in Yeshua, He clothed me, not with the rags of this world, but with a robe of righteousness.  He cradled me in His arms and nursed me until I was ready for solid food.  Now, I'm toddling off and trying to make my way in this strange world.  I run into things and fall often.  I even have little temper tantrums.  But he is there to pick me up or calm me down and send me off on my way...No....send me off on His Way. 

Thank you Father for just giving me one label......precious child.