Why does it have to be so hard to be a believer? Why do I have to have these convictions? I feel like there are so few of us. Life would be so much easier if I were like the majority of Christianity. Should I be selfish, looking to my own needs and wants before the needs and wants of my "savior?" Sometimes I wish I was like one of them again. I could work whenever I wanted and wear whatever I wanted. I would still be considered a good believer. If I left my kids with a sitter, went back to making 50,000 a year, worked nights and weekends, people would think we had everything all together.
Do you know that 3 years ago someone who was living with a man that was not the father of her child, someone who drinks too much and acts like she is in high school told me she could help me get my life back together!? Now at that time, I had 4 lovely children; I had been living in a purchased home for 6 years; My husband had one masters and was in school for his next. I'm thinking to myself...What? Why do I look so pathetic to you? My husband had lost a job, that was very hurtful time, but he found an equal job pretty much right away. What would have made me more acceptable? Should I throw off the scarf I always wear on my head and pick up a cocktail? Would that be a step in the "right" direction? Should I send my children to school and focus again on my career, would that do? Why isn't it ok just to be faithful? Why does someone that doesn't look worldly come across as mislead and confused. Why isn't it ok to choose poverty (I use that very loosely, I know I am nowhere near impoverished.) over indulgence?
I had a non-religious Jew in my home the other day. We had some really interesting conversation. This woman had attended a Christian church and liked it very much. Later in life when she asked her Rabbi why Jesus couldn't be the Messiah his response was this. "The Messiah would never come as a carpenter." Well why not? What is so terrible about a servant king? Could you imagine if Zacheaus said to Jesus, while he was eating with him, "Jesus... we need to get your life in order. I'll teach you how to lie and steal so that you don't have to have so many troubles." How bazaar would that be? How absolutely obscured?
Jesus intentionally came down from all of his glory and made himself of no reputation, just for us. He made himself someone that, shallow and selfish, people would think needed worldly help. There may have been times, when he was fighting with those arrogant Pharisees it may have occurred to him to get the upper hand in the argument by doing great wonders. I don't think he resorted to fireworks because it would impress the wrong people. Jesus didn't want people to follow him because they loved his abilities or his house or clothes or his famous friends. He wanted people to follow him because they fell in love with his message, his witness, and his purpose. If he did that with fancy things and spectacles they wouldn't love him for who he was.
When Jesus came over 2000 years ago, he came as a lover, a peacemaker, a humble and lowly servant. He set that example for us so that we would know where true happiness comes from. Not in the pomp and circumstance of the proud, but in the foot washing humility of the servant.
So I’m back to me and why things are so hard. Well, things are so hard because as long as I’m living in this sinful world, I will not be able to live up to the world’s sinful standard. And I guess until I get my glorified body I will struggle with feeling lowly. I don’t mean to compare myself to Jesus. He is my example and I am a sorry copy. With that said, I have made myself nothing by the world’s standard to follow him. Many days it feels really crappy. That is why it is so important to fellowship on Sabbath with other believers.
Make yourself nothing now so that you can have everything later.
Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5
Synonyms for meek: humble, timid, submissive, gentle, docile, modest, compliant, mild, quiet, lowly, weak, fearful, tame.........Jesus.......Barbra?
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